I had substituted myself as this object of desire and as I was ovulating I was crying out, ‘ It’s me your looking at,’ I wanted to be that bust, and show an array of men, assembled outside the window, all standing masturbating as the peered into my soul and ejaculating onto the window, yes, I was having a typical female fuck fantasy, in public and in the sanctity of my little cafe. Heart pumping, pulse racing and mind giddy with naughty sexual desires, I walked, light of foot and slightly wavering, back towards the shop, each step taking me closer into my fantasy, I was going to do it, I was up for it, I was going to show myself and spread-em wide. I was now there, standing outside, my body shaking with my hand on the door, deep intake of breath and I pushed. Nothing happened, it was locked, it was closed, it was the fucking weekend, how stupid was I. I lay in bed later that day and decided to call in the morning, this was not going away, I so wanted to go through with this, not the. ‘Sorry.’ ‘That’s alright.’ He finished clocking in and turns around and looks at me. There was an awkward silence between the two of us for a minute. ‘Well,’ I said breaking the silence. ‘I guess we should get to work.’ I started to walk away to start my shift. ‘Hey, Emily?’ He calls after me. ‘Yeah?’ I said a little too excited that he said my name. ‘I was wondering,’ he says walking towards me. ‘What are your plans after work?’ Again, I feel my face getting hot again. ‘I don’t have anything planned,’ I said with a big, goofy grin. ‘Why do you ask?’ He looks back at me smiling ‘Well, would you like to see a movie or something?’ He asked. ‘Oh,’ I said trying to think of the movies that were out. Honestly, nothing was out that seemed interesting to me, not that I would be focused on the movie, anyway. ‘What movie?’ ‘Well, there’s that new horror one that came out. It looked kind of interesting.’ He said Horror movies and I really did not mix. I get scared far too easily. ‘Oh,’ I said.
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